Yesterday, I woke up vomiting. (You’re welcome for that image.) From the moment it happened, I knew that the day was just not going to go as planned. I knew that the list of things I had in my head that I wanted to accomplish were not going to get done, and I had to accept that fact.
It drove me nuts.
Normally, I am what I refer to as “King of Sabbath.” I rarely have problems separating out time to recuperate and recover. I rarely have any issue setting boundaries or allowing various parts of my life to interfere with those moments which serve to rejuvenate me. But when there is something that I believe needs doing, I will do it.
I have set a schedule for myself in writing for this site. I have told myself and others that every Monday and Thursday – come Hell or high water – I would post something. I know myself well enough to know that, if I slip and don’t post one day, then I will be setting myself on a road to ruin. But yesterday, I was puking and my head was pounding.
Sometimes, there’s just nothing one can do about the distractions, road blocks, or hurdles that come at us in life. But there is a difference between you standing in your own way and something else doing it, and it is imperative for the Change Agent to realize the difference. One can be dealt with (somewhat) quickly and effectively, and the other cannot. I can tell myself to buck up and employ the various methods I have learned to get my sorry rear in gear again, but I can’t do much about that one person who insists on blocking every move I make.
I have, in the recent past, had to wait a few things out. As someone naturally predisposed to change, I am constantly on the move, constantly trying to figure out the next thing to do. But there were somethings that would just not let me move. Try as I might, I could not get around these realities. I could not find an alternate pathway. Most things you might read will tell you to just keep moving, and, if you do, the way forward will become clear.
What I want to say is that there are going to be times when the most productive thing you can do is sit on your hands and do nothing.
This is not a cop-out. This is not giving up. This is learning to be realistic about a situation and saving your energy. Those things will not stay in place forever and the Change Agent needs to learn that their best friend is often attrition. Most situations, people, structural realities will all go away eventually. Can you wait them out? Can you choose to put your energy towards some other areas while your waiting?
Being a Change Agent is about having a little bit of wisdom and recognizing that you’re not actually the one producing any kind of change. (shocker!) Being a Change Agent is about recognizing that the work that we do is actually God working through us, and that we’re not the only vehicle God is working through.
My headaches and vomiting went away, and I was able to sit down this morning and write. Sometimes, the Change Agent just needs to chill.